Recovery isn’t linear!

Sorry its been a while since my last post. We were actually off for a week last week but she was ill the whole time (including Valentines day) and we didn’t get around to doing much of anything we wanted to!

We did however get to go to The Rocky Horror Show. I saw this as a great victory for my other half as it was about 40 mins away in unfamiliar territory and involved dressing up and generally extroverted behaviour, but she was fine, she actually had fun. Its strange how some days things seem really normal, and then the next day may be full of tears and fears.

I can see so clearly that she is making progress, and in those moments she can see it too. She knows how far she has come and things are getting better. Unfortunately she can’t see it when she’s down. That’s where I have to keep reminding her of things she herself has said about feeling okay and getting back to normal.

Both her hypnotherapist and councillor have said she needs to take the small victories and enjoy them. The days when going to the supermarket isn’t scary, or going for a meal isn’t full of anxiety. She struggles to do this however. She constantly fights that feeling that those things are normal things and shouldn’t be an issue. But they are; right now, they are. And when you find the strength to push past them, that should feel like a victory. I feel like that one part of her mentality is hindering her recovery the most. We all know that when you succeed at something, you get a buzz, and you most likely want to sustain or repeat that feeling. It can even help form habits through positive reinforcement, but if she wont allow herself to feel good about the small things, they will remain hard to do, instead of becoming a feel good factor. I’m not sure how to approach this. The ups are good, the downs are bad, but we are definitely spending more time in the middle ground these days. To me that great because anywhere besides down is better than it was! This recovery thing is never going to be a constant upwards progression… it has its peaks and troughs, and if you think about it, that’s normal for everyone. We all have good days and bad days, its just that our path is more of a flatline. When trying to beat anxiety, its more of a gradual incline, but still follows the daily pattern. The frequesncy of those dips is becoming less and the depth of them is significantly shallower.

Can you tell I’m a data-minded person? Everything is graphs and logic with me! But it helps me see it, and explain it to her. That’s all I can advise with this. Use analogies for progression and keep telling them they are doing better. Praise them for their achievements in a day, and don’t let the small stuff go unnoticed. It all adds up!